I would want it to be the same one Santa Claus aka Kris Kringle uses.
The man works 1 day a year!! And how hard does he work? Sure, he has to TRAVEL the world, oh how horrible, all expense paid travelling in his own private sled. No airline fees, airport waits, delays, etc.
The extent of his office work is making a list and checking it twice, something which by now he has either loaded up into Access or some other Microsoft program created just for him so it is a matter of a few minutes on the computer in between games of Bejewelled.
The best part to me about being Santa Claus is the Union makes him stay fat if he wants to keep his job so non-stop cookies and milk! Bet he has no problem getting one of the elves to stand in line for him at the Hoboken bakery to get him cookies. A
Now this part is not appealing to me because I am not a voyeur but I am sure there a few who would like the "sees you when you're sleeping," not my cup of tea but hey, to each his own.
The ones with the sucky union are the elves. They do all the work! Making the toys, loading the sled, cleaning-up after the reindeer (though I would hate to be Santa if one of the elves got p*ssed off at Santa and fed the reindeer baked beans before take-off), shovel all the snow in the North Pole, rub Santa's feet, etc.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
You Don't Bring me Cookies Anymore
Occasionally, Don would bring home some amazing cookies from a bakery in Hoboken. Bringing me cookies is akin to bringing someone flowers and much more appreciated! Flowers wilt and die, they require maintenance, some make my allergies act up, but a cookie, a cookie stays with me eternally. I can recall with extreme clarity the taste and texture of a fine cookie as a wine connoisseur dreams of a rare claret they enjoyed once.
Well, the bakery in Hoboken is none other than the home of the TLC show the Cake Boss. Apparently now that the bakery has made the big time of reality tv stardom, the line snakes around the block and eager patrons wait for hours to enter the inner sanctum of the now-famous pastry chef. I saw a PATH train this morning from my train window, at first I thought the graffiti vandals had attacked it, the whole train was covered, including the windows in a giant advertising mess for the Cake Boss, enormous red TLC’s were splashed all over as was the Cake Boss’s face. One car, fine, but the same tacky ad covered each and every car!
I digress from the topic at hand, sort of. Until this show runs its course, Don no longer brings me cookies from this fine bakery. He does, though, attempt to sate my cookie addiction with substitutes, some have succeeded, most have failed.
Well, the bakery in Hoboken is none other than the home of the TLC show the Cake Boss. Apparently now that the bakery has made the big time of reality tv stardom, the line snakes around the block and eager patrons wait for hours to enter the inner sanctum of the now-famous pastry chef. I saw a PATH train this morning from my train window, at first I thought the graffiti vandals had attacked it, the whole train was covered, including the windows in a giant advertising mess for the Cake Boss, enormous red TLC’s were splashed all over as was the Cake Boss’s face. One car, fine, but the same tacky ad covered each and every car!
I digress from the topic at hand, sort of. Until this show runs its course, Don no longer brings me cookies from this fine bakery. He does, though, attempt to sate my cookie addiction with substitutes, some have succeeded, most have failed.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
The end draws near...finally!
Well, after starting a novel back in early 2001, it is almost done. I had put it aside several times, picking it up occasionally to work on it. I have since (about the end of 2009) made a concerted effort to work on it almost everyday, mostly on the train.
It is such a strange feeling to be wrapping-up and bringing closure to the characters I created in this dark-comedy fictional novel. It is as if a close friend is leaving me forever!
I am eager, though, to begin the next step in this journey and hopefully find an agent and become an officially published author. And even if it does not get published, it will feel great to say I at least finished what I started and I tried.
It is such a strange feeling to be wrapping-up and bringing closure to the characters I created in this dark-comedy fictional novel. It is as if a close friend is leaving me forever!
I am eager, though, to begin the next step in this journey and hopefully find an agent and become an officially published author. And even if it does not get published, it will feel great to say I at least finished what I started and I tried.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The Box - Movie Review - Spoiler Alert
There are certain standards I apply to watching a movie, bad being when I demand the producer pay me for the hours I just lost watching their creation. This was one such movie, I want my hour and a half of life back I lost on this one!!
Why Cameron Diaz thought when this script came her way that it was a good idea to take is beyond me.
The movie starts out well enough, although Norma, Cameron's character, getting distraught about a small financial crisis (her son's PRIVATE school tuition will no longer be subject to a discount which she had received as a benefit as teacher at the same institution) is a bit much. Her husband works for NASA and it is clear he has job security. They live in an affluent neighborhood in Richmond, VA in a large Colonial home for just 3 people and hubby drives a brand new Corvette Stingray. Cry me a river on your finances, they live (gasp) paycheck to paycheck because living outside of the city in a smaller and modest home was never an option she considered.
So when a man with a face that looks like a Rottweiler took a chunk out of arrives to explain the box, which is called the button, explains how all her financial woes can be eliminated if she presses the red button, Norma is interested. A million dollars just to press a button. The catch, because there is always a catch when the half-faced Amway sales person arrives on your doorstep, is someone she does not know will die somewhere in the world. There are rules blah blah blah, of course, Norma presses the button, a lady across town dies, they get their money, hubby tries to return it, too late!
Now the premise to me was intriguing, I would have found the movie more interesting if it stayed with the button only aspect, would they press it? Husband and wife debating, walking past it, waking in the middle of the night. A study of human nature regarding greed vs. morality. I would have preferred the man to have a whole face, but that would have made the whole magical and science fiction aspect pointless, he had to have a visible deformity to make the whole box even more interesting...not.
You see, the man, Mr. Steward who is not Mr. Steward, it is just his body that his employers (you are supposed to believe some alien presence from below the surface of Mars which are better than humans in all regards, intelligence, ethics, morality, humanity - I guess that would be Martianity - entered his body via lightning when a camera probe was sent to Mars by NASA) which we are not privy to know who they are, are using him as a vessel to deliver the button and test us all and the people who receive the button decide the entire fate of mankind. Apparently, women like to press the button, the men all just watch in mock horror in each instance while their selfish, money hungry wifes slap the button in much the same manner as Press Your Luck except in this version, you always got a Whammy. Someone dies as soon as the button rose.
There are lots of details which made me say WTF quite often, the library, the motel...portals to this other place, why the Martians would know what our supposed afterlife was even like. And there are tons of unexplained tangents, the movie had more holes than, well, Swiss cheese!
The commercials for this movie were much better than the movie itself and I bet the short story, Button Button which the screenplay is based upon was much better than the movie as well.
Why Cameron Diaz thought when this script came her way that it was a good idea to take is beyond me.
The movie starts out well enough, although Norma, Cameron's character, getting distraught about a small financial crisis (her son's PRIVATE school tuition will no longer be subject to a discount which she had received as a benefit as teacher at the same institution) is a bit much. Her husband works for NASA and it is clear he has job security. They live in an affluent neighborhood in Richmond, VA in a large Colonial home for just 3 people and hubby drives a brand new Corvette Stingray. Cry me a river on your finances, they live (gasp) paycheck to paycheck because living outside of the city in a smaller and modest home was never an option she considered.
So when a man with a face that looks like a Rottweiler took a chunk out of arrives to explain the box, which is called the button, explains how all her financial woes can be eliminated if she presses the red button, Norma is interested. A million dollars just to press a button. The catch, because there is always a catch when the half-faced Amway sales person arrives on your doorstep, is someone she does not know will die somewhere in the world. There are rules blah blah blah, of course, Norma presses the button, a lady across town dies, they get their money, hubby tries to return it, too late!
Now the premise to me was intriguing, I would have found the movie more interesting if it stayed with the button only aspect, would they press it? Husband and wife debating, walking past it, waking in the middle of the night. A study of human nature regarding greed vs. morality. I would have preferred the man to have a whole face, but that would have made the whole magical and science fiction aspect pointless, he had to have a visible deformity to make the whole box even more interesting...not.
You see, the man, Mr. Steward who is not Mr. Steward, it is just his body that his employers (you are supposed to believe some alien presence from below the surface of Mars which are better than humans in all regards, intelligence, ethics, morality, humanity - I guess that would be Martianity - entered his body via lightning when a camera probe was sent to Mars by NASA) which we are not privy to know who they are, are using him as a vessel to deliver the button and test us all and the people who receive the button decide the entire fate of mankind. Apparently, women like to press the button, the men all just watch in mock horror in each instance while their selfish, money hungry wifes slap the button in much the same manner as Press Your Luck except in this version, you always got a Whammy. Someone dies as soon as the button rose.
There are lots of details which made me say WTF quite often, the library, the motel...portals to this other place, why the Martians would know what our supposed afterlife was even like. And there are tons of unexplained tangents, the movie had more holes than, well, Swiss cheese!
The commercials for this movie were much better than the movie itself and I bet the short story, Button Button which the screenplay is based upon was much better than the movie as well.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
For whom the bell tolls - don't ask, it wasn't for me!
So I was sitting here getting ready to do some eBay work when I heard the rain that has been threatening all day finally coming down.
Over the raindrops, I heard a sweet sound, music! It was not any ordinary music, oh no, this was the music of the ice cream truck!!! We had just come home from a nice lunch out where I had apple crumb cheesecake, we have a pint of Ben & Jerry's strawberry cheesecake ice cream in the freezer yet I heard the music and in true Pavlov-style reaction, I was ready to bolt outside in the rain and flag that truck down!!
Something made me stop for a second and listen closer...to the sound of the neighbor's radio. No ice cream truck :(
Over the raindrops, I heard a sweet sound, music! It was not any ordinary music, oh no, this was the music of the ice cream truck!!! We had just come home from a nice lunch out where I had apple crumb cheesecake, we have a pint of Ben & Jerry's strawberry cheesecake ice cream in the freezer yet I heard the music and in true Pavlov-style reaction, I was ready to bolt outside in the rain and flag that truck down!!
Something made me stop for a second and listen closer...to the sound of the neighbor's radio. No ice cream truck :(
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Someone told me its all happening at the zoo...
We bought a family membership to Turtle Back Zoo in West Orange, NJ. Today was the 2nd time for me this year and 4th time for hubby and Donnie. They had already been on Wednesday and Thursday this past week and Donnie wanted to go again today! When we got home and after his nap, he wanted to go back again.
They have the coolest bird aviary, you can buy these little popsicle sticks covered in bird seed and the birds come and sit on them. There are hundreds of colorful birds in there and miraculously, we all left without any spots of "good luck" droppings on us!
We rode the train and the carousel and checked out the animals. It is a lovely zoo and perfect for a day out. And they also have these lovely Zen-inspired gardens with plenty of benches and seats if you want to just sit and meditate, which I had Donnie doing at one point, wish I had the video camera going, was adorable! He had his legs crossed and did the thing with his fingers and was saying "uhm". Of course at 3 and half years old, that last for uhm, uhm, "Mommy, let's go over there now." But the two seconds were restful.
Tomorrow we will just hang-around here till Donnie goes to grandpa's and I will be listing pending I do not get distracted as I usually do. I was finally able to grab the last 2 discs of season 3 of Mad Men, so tempted to watch all the episodes now but I am saving them for the train rides.
Well, no major life realizing AH HA moments right now other than me trying to be more committed to posting more on here. Next week I will attempt to stay on my diet better and go to the gym. One thing at a time! At least blogging lets me sit and snack :)
They have the coolest bird aviary, you can buy these little popsicle sticks covered in bird seed and the birds come and sit on them. There are hundreds of colorful birds in there and miraculously, we all left without any spots of "good luck" droppings on us!
We rode the train and the carousel and checked out the animals. It is a lovely zoo and perfect for a day out. And they also have these lovely Zen-inspired gardens with plenty of benches and seats if you want to just sit and meditate, which I had Donnie doing at one point, wish I had the video camera going, was adorable! He had his legs crossed and did the thing with his fingers and was saying "uhm". Of course at 3 and half years old, that last for uhm, uhm, "Mommy, let's go over there now." But the two seconds were restful.
Tomorrow we will just hang-around here till Donnie goes to grandpa's and I will be listing pending I do not get distracted as I usually do. I was finally able to grab the last 2 discs of season 3 of Mad Men, so tempted to watch all the episodes now but I am saving them for the train rides.
Well, no major life realizing AH HA moments right now other than me trying to be more committed to posting more on here. Next week I will attempt to stay on my diet better and go to the gym. One thing at a time! At least blogging lets me sit and snack :)
Thursday, May 20, 2010
The Wishing Well
I approached an old well, I looked down into the darkness and was about to toss a coin into it when I heard a voice come up from within the well.
“If you jump in, I will grant you three wishes. The only condition is you will lose something precious to you with each wish.”
It was tempting, three wishes. I thought I could wish for a beautiful, large house but I already had a house that was not grand by any stretch of the imagination but it was a home and provided shelter for me.
I could wish for money to buy all that I needed but what did I need? I could buy designer clothes but I had clothes already which kept me warm and did not have holes. I could eat out every night at a fancy restaurant but I had all the food I needed already.
I could wish for perfect health and immortality but if I lived forever, I would only live to see all the people I ever loved die.
And of course, there was that clause, I would lose something precious with each wish and I knew that what I would lose would not be something but it would be someone and no matter how tempting the offer might be, I knew I was already blessed with a happy, healthy son, a loving and caring husband and a large family and lots of friends who I adore. So I walked on past the well and wondered for a brief second of the sort of person who would accept such a proposition.
Hmmmm I wonder if there is such a well in Washington D.C. Sure would explain a lot! Apparently honesty and integrity are a couple of the precious commodities which are taken in exchange for power and fame!
“If you jump in, I will grant you three wishes. The only condition is you will lose something precious to you with each wish.”
It was tempting, three wishes. I thought I could wish for a beautiful, large house but I already had a house that was not grand by any stretch of the imagination but it was a home and provided shelter for me.
I could wish for money to buy all that I needed but what did I need? I could buy designer clothes but I had clothes already which kept me warm and did not have holes. I could eat out every night at a fancy restaurant but I had all the food I needed already.
I could wish for perfect health and immortality but if I lived forever, I would only live to see all the people I ever loved die.
And of course, there was that clause, I would lose something precious with each wish and I knew that what I would lose would not be something but it would be someone and no matter how tempting the offer might be, I knew I was already blessed with a happy, healthy son, a loving and caring husband and a large family and lots of friends who I adore. So I walked on past the well and wondered for a brief second of the sort of person who would accept such a proposition.
Hmmmm I wonder if there is such a well in Washington D.C. Sure would explain a lot! Apparently honesty and integrity are a couple of the precious commodities which are taken in exchange for power and fame!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)