Strawberries, Vaseline and Guinea Pigs!

Well, it is confirmed because, even at 41 years old, I still have not learned to just trust my first reaction. I am not talking instincts or emotions, I am talking physical reactions to food, medications, beauty products.

A few years ago, it looked like I had contacted some sort of STD around my lips. I kept breaking out, friends were repulsed, my husband questioned me as to my whereabouts during Fleet Week...I kept a record of what I was eating thinking one of my allergies from my childhood had returned (the Strawberry Incident of 1977 fresh in mind), it had to be something I ate. Hmmm strawberries, I had not consumed any lately BUT I had been using cherry flavored Chapstick. Say it wasn't so!! That harmless stick of tinted wax that I kept liberally smearing to my lips could not possibly be the culprit. So I did what any logical adult would do, I kept using the crap to confirm my suspicion. And then I did what any logical adult really would have done, I stopped using. It was tough for the first few weeks, my tongue kept tasting my once cherry-flavored lips, they were now a dull, tasteless Vaseline taste. But lo and behold, my rash went away and the swelling, whick looked like a bad collagen injection, finally went away as well. I no longer looked like the OctoMom!

So now we come to another moment of when I should have trusted my first reaction and ceased using the Avon eye care cream and gel. I had been using it for months with no problems, well, not for months, a couple of times a week if I remembered or even cared to do my complete night-time beauty regime. Anyway, two weeks ago, I had the itchiest sensation around my eyes and then they puffed up underneath. I stopped using it and miracle of miracles, my eyes went back to normal! Of course, I could not let this go and that sh*t is expensive!! Last night I very smartly applied it again...and now I am looking at the world through puffy eyes. At least I can claim hay fever, there will be no accusations of STD's on this reaction, thank you very much!

I wonder what product or food will cause my next reaction. Stay tuned as I am sure there will be another incident and I will yet again let myself be my own Guinea Pig!

WWJD?

Yesterday Don and I went to the Tick Tock Diner in Manhattan by Penn Station for lunch. The check arrived and the waitress had forgotten to put the bottle of Barq’s root beer on the tab. Don wondered if we should tell her or just pay. So it was now WWJD – what would Jeanette do? I told Don as tempting as it was since the food was expensive to not say anything, we had to tell her and pay for the soda.

Now the sad thing that always gets me regarding these sorts of situations is that apparently doing the right thing is not the norm. The waitress thanked us profusely (it was a bottle of soda, not a needed kidney for goodness sake) and said how rare it was to find honest people. It drives me crazy when I pick-up the paper or read on the internet the kind stranger who returned a wallet or something else to its RIGHTFUL owner. Since when did found items become finders, keepers? As a child, that is fine for a quarter but as we get older, finding something of value should be returned to its owner or brought to the police station. An attempt should be made to be like a Spike Lee movie title and “do the right thing”.

And the right thing should be the NORM, not the rarity that has praise heaped upon it.

Doom and Gloom!

It is another gorgeous day here. What a difference in the morning to stand and wait for the train. Of course there are always those who no matter how perfect the weather, the train is on time, they are healthy…they are what I call Eeyore’s. You know the sort, they always seem to say “ho hum, it could be better”. Well, the Train Eeyore was there as I approached and I said, “Isn’t this great?” and Eeyore replied, “What?” I waved my arm in a sweep to indicate the blue sky with the white clouds that appeared to have been painted with a wide artists brush. “The weather!, as if I needed to explain myself. He said, “I guess,” in his usual ho-hum approach to I imagine everything in his life. He is married, I can just imagine how enthusiastic he is in the bedroom with Mrs. Eeyore. I can see the sign on their master bedroom door, “Welcome to the Doldrums.”

So then I get to me next stop, Dover, and I am sitting on a bench on the platform, drinking in the sun as I waited for the midtown train. I had my iPod on and was just enjoying the few minutes before I would be on the train. And then I heard it, a sound I am used to in Manhattan but not at the Dover station. The Apostle, they stand and preach for all to hear but most just walk on by and go about their business. I turned off my music to listen to what this man had to say. It was rather uplifting, he started with statistics, such as half of marriages end in divorce, 1 in 4 is not insured….it culminated with 10 out of 10 people will die. I observed to all within earshot that this man was just a barrel of sunshine! I said based on what he has just revealed, perhaps we should all just step in front of the next train since we were the 10 out of 10 he was talking about! Prior to his stats, I was not aware of this and appreciated his revelation.

And then came the next bit of information which gave me my ah-ha moment and I knew where this was all going. He spoke of the afterlife and if we felt we were going to make it to Heaven. He began reciting the 10 Commandments and pointed out to all of us commuters and tourists that we were all sinners. At this point, I popped my earphones back in and cranked the tunes once more and basked in the sun for the next five minutes.

Easter Egg Hunting – the latest in adult full-contact sports

So we took Donnie upstate NY this past weekend for the Easter holiday with my side of the family. My sister’s neighbor and her 4 younger children came over yesterday afternoon for a an egg hunt which my nephew’s had kindly hid 160 eggs on my sister’s front yard for the 4 young ones and my three and a half year old. (Donnie also had a 2nd private egg hunt later that evening at his grandfather’s. He did very well for himself between these two egg hunts).

Anyway, the town of Norwich, NY had hosted an egg hunt at 10 a.m. on Saturday. We were too late for this as we arrived around 12:30 that day. And it was a good thing we did.

Apparently, there were a lot more kids then eggs. When the children were released along with their over-zealous parents, the children took off to find eggs while their parents ran defense. We heard the elbows were flying, it was rumored to have been a complete melee with parents whisking toddlers across the green to outrun the older children and hopefully get a few eggs for their little darlings.

I can only imagine coming home from an egg hunt with a black eye and saying, “You think I look bad, you should see what the Easter Bunny looks like.” Which makes it clear as to why the “Easter Bunny Hates You” youtube video exists. If egg hunts have always been like this, I can see why the Easter Bunny spends the other 364 days kicking ass. Notice he doesn’t go after any kids because, just like the parents who incite riots and shoot coaches, it is the parents who somehow turn these children’s events into competitions. It will not be the children to blame when there are less town and other sponsored egg hunt events, it will be the banshee screaming, elbow throwing parents who ruin yet another tradition.

Leave the bats, the guns and the fight mentality at home mom and dad, let your kids be kids and enjoy the egg hunts and sports! Observe and encourage, you are also one of their most influential role models.

Vegetarians - The Lepers of the Carnivorous Family Get-Togthers

Heading upstate NY tomorrow for Easter with the family. My sister, Denise, will be making an 18 lb ham. Of course, I won't have any as I suffer from what my mother thinks is a disease, vegetarianism. We go to a restaurant, she whispers to the waitress , "mine doter doesn’t eat meat anymore." She asks me if I will be having cornbeefed for St Patty's Day and says, "oh I forgot, you don’t eat da meat anymore." Thanksgiving she gave me a sigh of pity over the phone when she realized I would not be eating any turkey."Oh ya, das ist vight, no meat" after I explained that turkey and other fowl are a no-no for me now.

My mother’s reaction to my latest lifestyle choice reminds me of when I was of drinking age and I would go out to dinner with my mother and father. My mother would order her, “Bloody Mary mit Absolut,” and my father a martini. I would order a glass of milk. Guess after growing up having milk with dinner almost every night, I grew accustomed to it and actually enjoyed it! So on one of our dinners out, I ordered my usual. My father just looked at me and said “You sure you are related to us?”