Ooh something shiny!

 The only difference between adult ADD and childhood ADD is the age. 

As a child undiagnosed and with teachers back when I went to school not knowing ADD was a thing, I spent a lot of time in...time out. Depending on the teacher in grammar school, it was sitting outside the classroom door or in a corner of the classroom. One teacher even employed the cone hat as you might have seen back in the day with DUNCE scrolled across it cause that will of course change the child's behavior to the desired fall-in-line. Shaming always works so well.

When it came into the forefront more and more as I got older, I was happy to see that a.) I was not alone and that b.) there was a reason for my behavior in and out of the classroom. The adults in my life handled it with a smack across the face or a good old beating on the backside. I would lie in bed at night crying myself and pledging to myself that if and when I had any children, I would never lay a hand on them or belittle them.

Back to the present - my son, 5 years old at the doctor and being diagnosed at that time with aspects of Asperger's. Now he is labeled as being 'on the spectrum'. We had a few years of medication which did help him focus and then when he was old enough to reel it back himself, we took him off the medication. It did it's job, he is now a sophomore and in the top 10 of his class and in all honor classes. This is all through his hard work and dedication. We encourage him and help when requested and needed. But having that diagnosis and knowing that one actually has something that can be labeled gives on a leg-up. 

I look back at my school years and wish I knew what it was called and that there are ways to manage it. 

Now as I get closer to 55 years old, I accept that my mind wanders. When I was younger, it was called daydreaming and I was snapped out of it often in middle school often with one teacher engaging a water gun shot to the face. Not Draconian punishment by any stretch but today I know this is unacceptable. It did not help me in the least and embarrassed me more than anything.

Even now I am distracted as I write this. What I wanted to say was it is okay to be a bit absent-minded because you get lost mid-stream in a conversation but there are mental tricks I employ constantly to keep myself on track. I am cognizant of when my thoughts wander and consciously I force myself to stay focused. 

Write it down on paper, use the notes in your phone when your thoughts come so fast as to not forget. I am constantly having ideas, be it marketing for the shop, story ideas, the shopping list....I need to write things down and keep myself better organized. And as more and more technology clouds my mind, it is even more so important that I employ all tools afforded me.

Now I have a ton of stuff to do everyday, it is a lot, our house is as chaotic as my mind so I am making myself to take little bites and do a little of each thing that needs my attention. I remember reading one thing in Don't Sweat the Small Things several decades ago and that is even when you die, your inbox is still full. 

You will never be done with all that what you want to or need to do but you do the best you can. Do not let it overwhelm you. Lists are my go-to. What is most important to do right now? And that feeling of when you cross things DONE off a list makes you feel better.

We are not alone, use your support team if you are blessed to have one. And if you don't, reach out, you might be surprised at how many friends and family are willing to help but they cannot help unless they know you need it. 

NJ needs to take the plastic ban a bit further...

New Jersey is the only state to now ban not just plastic bags but also paper bags. The paper bag ban is mostly in effect for supermarkets, it does not apply to all businesses and the paper bags allowed must also meet certain criteria. I studied a 5-page document to make sure we were bag compliant in case anyone decided to call the Bag Snitch Line. First offense is a written warning, next is a $1000 fine. 

New Jersey has also banned plastic straws. This is all great and good BUT we need to take this plastic ban a bit further and eliminate the use of a few other things. Packaging is the biggest culprit and some packaging occurs where it can be cut-back quite a bit and that solution is easy as just going back to how it was done just a few years ago. I am talking about the individual creamers which come in those PLASTIC mini-containers. Sure, most are shelf-stable, but one can only imagine what is needed as far as preservatives go to make them shelf-stable thus another reason to slow your roll on their use.

Yes, it has made it easier in places which deal with a lot of to-go but do you really need to use these when sitting down to dine? Go back to the glass, stoneware and/or stainless-steel bottles and dispensers for the cream and milk. I just found this one in a quick search for just $2.00:

I love when I am eating out in a small cafe and they actually use the half-pint-sized glass milk bottles. Another easy solution that saves money in the long run, is reusable, easy-to-clean AND looks darling on the table. I found these on Amazon - 20 for $22.00:

Now we are entering your home and work kitchens etc. Let's talk about Keurig pods - generic and name-brand. Another blight in the dumps...I used to use a Keurig and when I did, I used the reusable pods. They are inexpensive and last a long, long time. In fact, they outlasted my use of a Keurig. Convenient, yes, but the brew just never tasted the same as a good old-fashioned coffee machine. Be it French Press, percolator or just a Mr. Coffee, a longer brew time vs. hot water dashing through a pod tastes so much better. But if you love your Keurig, get your favorite coffee and not only are you helping eliminate garbage, you are saving yourself quite a bit of money. Just $10.00 for 6 on Amazon. The great thing with buying a few is you can always have a bunch of pods ready-to-go.

The opinions expressed in this blog are exactly that, my opinion. I am sure many will disagree with this but if this reaches one restaurant which agrees and decides to change then that is a step towards change. Change can be small but it can have a large impact. 

Count your blessings, big and small

In order to go forth and continue with life and be in a good place mentally, I do my daily blessings when I awake. This helps, it truly does. 

First and most obvious is my family, all of them including our furbabies. 

I am grateful for a roof over my head which we finally got the leaking to stop when we were able to get the roof fixed. I am grateful that despite the rising costs of everything, we can afford to keep our house comfortable. We always have food on the table and even have leftovers. 

Blessings do not have to be grandiose, they just have to be what makes you grateful, what makes you happy. Do not let people tell you what your blessings are, these are YOURS, you define them. Yes, they can be things, why not? I always tell customers in our antique shop when they say they do not need something but they like it. Honestly, who needs anything in our shop? BUT we need to smile and if something makes you smile, then yes, yes you do need it! I tell the customers just that. You are blessed if you recognize that magpie in yourself, the need to collect. Stop listening to the naysayers who define THEIR beliefs, what they believe are true blessings.

I looked up the definition of blessings and of course there is the religious aspect of the definition but there is another part of the word's definition which I thoroughly embraced:

a beneficial thing for which one is grateful; something that brings well-being - (well-being is the joy in the little things IMO.)

Blessings come in the physical, the senses - make sure you do not take for granted sight and sound. Mobility, even if it has decreased or changed dramatically. When I went to physical therapy for my walking issues, the therapist said I had such a good outlook on it all. I said, I was blessed most of my life to be in very good physical shape and could participate in so many sports, jog, hike, whatever I wanted to without issue. I never took that for granted knowing how many never will know what it is like to walk and play without a wheelchair, braces, assistance. 

Being able to read I always saw as a blessing, access to public libraries. WOW a world of my own. My mother used to drop me off at the Cyrenius Booth library and leave me there for hours and I loved it. That library is huge and old, the smell of old books ensconces you as soon as you walk in the door. What I loved about that library was how they never seemed to get rid of any of the books, the shelves were packed with books that were decades old as well as the newest. I would sit for hours on the floors going through so many books. I used to be able to read and retain so much quickly. I was a voracious reader, not so much now. Maybe when we officially retire. I will be like my grandmother and get those books with the large text that you can read from space. BUT the most important thing is still being able to see and read. 

I have so much to be grateful for, it is wonderful because when you do, the complaining seems to almost cease. Sure, there are some things I do want, a clean house, no bats in the attic keeping our son awake but in the grand scheme of things, these are things I can and will change and fix.

(and now I see it has been a year exactly since my last post, maybe this year I will actually post more...we shall see)

Almost a full year....

 I made it under the wire! What wire? That one year mark since I last posted.

I am exhausted. I am blessed. I am burnt-out. I am lucky.